Saturday, December 29, 2012
Time
I used to look forward to "alone time" or "mommy time", but today I just find myself alone with too much time. I'd like some "family time". I want to keep them close by, watch them wrestle , listen to them laugh, hold them every minute of every day. It's been two weeks since I found out cancer is back for a third time and now time has become even more precious. It's all about time. Time to put on a smile, so no one feels sad. Time to ask family and friends to pray for a miracle. Time to get my gloves back on and fight like hell. Most importantly, time to protect my son from this news for as long as possible. There's never a right time. Until then, we will continue with "Lego time", "dancing in the kitchen time", and "snuggle time" . . . my favorite time.
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There has always been this glow to you. This light that everyone is drawn to and it dawned on me that it is your faith. I see this faith and light as a sign of hope. A hope for a miracle and it makes me believe! As a sister, mommy and aunt... I just want to fix it and I realize I can't. So I look to your light (even with my armor on to protect Ethan) who also has your light and I have hope! I love you!
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry to hear of the recurrence, but I know that if anyone can fight this and win, you can. Following your progress (pitfalls and all) and watching how you have worked through every bit of it with a level of grace that is enviable, please know that you have helped me to keep a bit of faith even when I've had every reason to stop believing. You will get through this - and you have an army of people out here to make sure you do.
ReplyDeleteSending you prayers and positive, healing vibes -
- Gina
Toni - I do not know what to say except that I will ask God daily for a miracle of healing for you and for an extra dose of TIME with those you love. I will also ask everyone I know who believes that God is still in the healing business to stand in FAITH that your cancer will be healed for a third and final time. I love you lady.
ReplyDeleteWe will be praying for you! You are an inspiration! With love-Dianna Lenz & family
ReplyDeleteGet the gloves out, and do what you have been doing, kick cancer's ass! You can do this, you have done it before, just don't lose your faith!!!! Thinking of you all the time....much love, prayers and strength to you Toni!!!
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