Bucket List

Do a lot of people have bucket lists? I guess one could serve as a double edged sword. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of having lists. I am a list girl. I like the feeling of accomplishment. I am an accomplishments girl. But do I really want the pressure of achieving a random list of outlandish feats at a time when outlandish feats might be difficult to accomplish or is that the challenge I must put forth to myself? So I sat down to think of all the places I want to go, all the weird food I want to sample, and all famous people I want to meet. But my mind kept coming up blank. My husband always says he feels bad that we've never "done" anything, but I laugh because I think we've done a lot. No, we've never been out of the country. No, we've never taken up ballroom dancing. No, we've never been on The Amazing Race. But that's not the kind of girl I am. I am the girl whose favorite vacation growing up was a long weekend at Saratoga Lake in a rented, musty, mosquito-filled cabin with no television. It wasn't about the vacation, it was about having both my parents and my sister's undivided attention for those few days. It is truly my most favorite childhood memory. I am the girl who backed out of a Chicago trip with her six best friends from high school because my breaking heart wouldn't let me leave my six-month-old baby without his mother for a few days. I feared being in a plane crash. I feared selfishly leaving my family and not being able to return. I am the girl who gets anxiety when her husband and son are out for some dude-time because I feel left out and just want them to come home. And now I'm left with a jealous feeling that they will have their whole lives together and I will be left out. So this list is plaguing me. It should be grand! It should be make headlines! It should be featured on Ellen! Still drawing a blank. This is all I've got: My Bucket List 1. Go to Disney . . . this is actually in the works! 2. Renew my wedding vows for our 15th wedding anniversary this summer. 3. To Be Continued . . .