Cancer Goody Bag

On March 29, 2010 I was told on my lunch break that the lump I found in a self exam was, in fact, positive for breast cancer. I was in complete shock, as I was certain, based on the radiologist's reaction to my biopsy, that this appointment was simply going to be an inconvenience in my day. I could not believe I had to leave work to get my results, especially since I was convinced it was merely a cyst or, at most, a benign tumor. I saw my biopsy. I saw the tissue floating in the test tubes. She said, "Cancer sinks to the bottom. I am sure you do not have cancer." So, when we sat there in her dark office surrounded my breast films, I did not expect her response to mine. She said, "Are you alone?" And I got nervous. When she told me, I felt like I had been hit in the stomach with a fast moving ball I didn't see flying at me from across the gym during a dodgeball game in elementary school. I could barely hear the other words coming out of her mouth as they were all being drowned out by the word "cancer" screaming in my head. Then she did something that left me even more speechless: she handed me a goody bag. That is the best way I can describe it. This woman just told me I have breast cancer and then handed me a bag complete with: Cup of Comfort book, a journal, a candle, a piece of chocolate, and tissues. Seriously.